I'll bet we are very much alike. There are times I actually ache to change. I feel disappointed in myself. I yearn to be more Christ-like. I've been having a conversation with the Father about this. I recorded my thoughts about this. Here's what I wrote.
"God, make me the man You want me to be! I'm tired of who I am. Shallow. Superficial. Easily offended. Prone to self pity. Shocked by my capacity for resentment. Please, please, change me!"
I heard Him say, "You imagine that by becoming something you are not that I will finally be pleased with you. You are obsessing over change. This fixation clouds your view of Me and of my love. You are unable to see that by accepting that I love you as you are and not as you should be, will itself transform you."
Does this make sense? Does it sound like the Father?
Most people who identify themselves as Christians have participated in churches that promote the kind of thinking that makes us virtually obsessive about changing. Our focus stays on us and not on Him. Lately, I've found myself praying that nothing- not my pain, not my shame, nothing, will eclipse my view of Him! That, not focusing on becoming, will transform us.