I’ve been a Christian for a pretty long time now- nearly fifty years. I’ve been a pastor for forty-two of those years. During this time, I’ve found myself in discussions with people over theological issues. Some of these discussions have been a respectful exchange of ideas, with no one aiming at winning, just learning. Others devolved into a heated exchange where no one was listening. Like most people, I’ve developed some pretty strong views. However strong my view about something is, I don’t want to lose sight of the most important view that I need to keep in mind when I find myself engaged in a discussion with someone who strongly disagrees with me. That view is, If I succeed at winning the discussion but I lose the relationship, I’ve lost.
I am not suggesting that we shouldn’t debate issues, only that we need to keep in mind the goals which would be most pleasing to God as we engage in conversation around topics that are potentially threatening to a relationship. I am all for being able to “own” what I believe and even defend it when necessary, but I sometimes detect that the person I have been having a discussion with is giving me signs that his/her mind is made up. Add to that, that he/she/me is also heated up and I realize that it’s time to hit the pause button on the conversation.
These are very difficult times to have reasoned discussions about politics in particular. Please exercise wisdom before discussing differing political views. That said, there is a certain assumption on the part of some that disparaging a candidate and his/her views with off-handed comments in public gatherings should go uncontested. I don’t think it helps to let such comments go unchallenged, especially when it is your views and/or your candidate that is being disrespected. A simple, “I didn’t come here to discuss politics, but I find it insulting to listen to you denigrate my beliefs or to assume that my beliefs agree with yours. If you wish to have a reasonable and fair exchange of ideas, I’d be happy to do that. Your comments imply that no thinking person would support the candidate I have chosen to support. I suggest that we end this discussion here, or pursue it in private, if you are willing to hear another perspective.”
Most of the people who malign political candidates at public group gatherings have made their minds up. Some don’t even want to consider evidence to the contrary of what he/she believes. That is scary to me. My mother used to say, “Convince a person against his will, he’s of the same opinion still!” How right she was. Or, consider the insightful words of author Robert R. Riley, who said, “You cannot make a reasoned defense against those who have abandoned reason.”
I hope that we Christians, whatever our positions, are not so certain that we are not willing to listen respectfully to the reasoning of others. James the apostle said that the wisdom from above is “reasonable.” When we can no longer be reasoned with, we are under the influence of a form of wisdom that is “earthly, unspiritual, demonic” (James 3:15-17). I find this sobering.